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Every
year, one out of five American families move. One of the most
important issues to anyone with kids is their reaction to the
news that they're moving, and their adjustment to the new home.
Being informed is very important to children. One of the worst
mistakes we can make as adults is to assume that kids don't care
or won't understand the details. keeping them "in the
loop," consulting them about choices whenever possible, and
including them in the family game plan will work wonders toward
their adjustment.
Other factors depend on the child's age:
Preschool Children
Kids under the age of six may worry about being left behind, or
being separated from their parents. If you go on an orientation
or house-hunting trip beforehand without the children, it's
important to reassure kids this age that you will be back; bring
something unique back to them from the new town. It's very
important for them to express their feelings and fears about the
move. Give them a job to do -- have them be responsible for
boxing up their favorite toys, and "labeling" their
boxes with crayons and stickers.
Ages 6 to 12
Elementary age kids are usually most concerned with how the
everyday routines of their lives are going to change. Showing
them pictures, videos and magazines of their new home will help
a lot, especially if you can find new places in advance for the
things they like to do. If your children take dance lessons,
find and share information about the new dance studio they can
go to. If they take karate, or play soccer...even if their
favorite thing to do is go to the park or the pizza parlor, find
these places in your new neighborhood and get brochures,
pictures or videos.
Teenagers
These kids are most concerned with fitting in. They may react
angrily to the move, even insist they're not going. This is
usually due to the total lack of control they have over
everything important in their lives, friends, school and jobs,
being disrupted. These children can be very worried about making
new friends, and what will be different in the new school. They
are curious about the clothing, hairstyles, bicycles, cars, etc.
that kids in the new city will have. Pictures of all these
things are very helpful, so if you take an orientation trip be
sure to take many detailed photos/videos of the schools they
will be attending.
Other tips for making the transition:
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Give
young children an entertaining travel kit for the move.
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Give
older children a diary for recording the trip and move.
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Give
children of all ages a special address book and stationary
set for keeping up with old friends.
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Take
videos of the new home if the kids won't get to see it
before the move. Arrive well before the movers so kids can
explore and become acquainted first.
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Give
children a chore to do, such as working on their room
(younger), supervising little siblings (middle), and
painting or arranging furniture (older kids).
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Take
a break with the family as soon as possible to explore the
museums, sights and recreation in your new city.
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Arrange
a visit to new schools and a meeting with the teacher before
the actual first day of attendance.
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Encourage
the children to bring new friends home.
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